Medical Students: A Support System Survival Guide
Hello everyone!
For those of you that don't know, my name is Danielle. A little background information on myself: In addition to being a wife and a mom to almost 3, I am also a graduate student, and I work full time as an analyst at a tech start-up. I have a Masters in Information Systems and Security, and after I finish my national research study this semester I'll also have a Masters in Library and Information Science. While our life may sound super hectic (which admittedly it can be) we always make time for the kids and appreciate the moments we have together.
My guest posting this week is geared toward the support systems for medical students. While I speak from the perspective of a spouse, the same key elements can be applied toward your relationship with your medical student (whether that be sibling, parent, friend, etc.). Below you’ll find my Top 5 Tips:
Communication
If you take anything away from this post, I would consider this the most important. Communication is key…in life, in relationships, in happiness, and definitely in Dominica. Your student is going to have unlimited things on their mind at one time. Chances are, they might not notice something that is bothering you. You have to communicate your needs. Everyone has a different set of things that make him or her feel fulfilled. Get to know yourself, and ask for what you need. While you’re at it, ask your partner what they need. Sometimes something as simple as helping quiz them, bringing them lunch, or making sure they catch a few extra hours of sleep can make all the difference to them. Do things for each other because you genuinely want to and don’t expect anything in return. Make sure to support each other!
Set a Flexible Schedule
I only speak from personal experience, but there are definitely certain times of the day that are more important than others to me. Be realistic about your expectations of your partner’s schedule. Medical school is in a league of its own and requires way more resources than I initially thought. One thing that worked for us, was that we always tried to get ready together in the morning and have dinner together at night. Sure we fit in lunches here and there and sometimes we would study next to each other, but that wasn’t everyday. You’ll notice as minis come you’ll start to see your partner less. For those weeks we wrote a weekly schedule and stuck to it. We had mornings and dinner and all the time in between and after he did what he needed to do. We didn’t figure this out till second semester and surprise surprise, communication was key.
As a side note to those of you who are parents, there will be opportunities for date nights! The island is filled with spouses and students whom are more than willing to baby sit for a few hours, or more. We enjoyed going to trivia at Champs on Thursdays and had one of our friends watch the boys! It gave us a weekly small break to de-stress and have fun. These relationships that you build will carry over into your tracks and beyond. I am blessed to be in a track where I have a handful of spouses whom I had met on the island and still continue to be friends with. In fact, one of them graciously watched my kids while I had my interview for my current employer! Everything will work out.
Get out of the house
Never had Sorrel or Guava juice? Try it! Get a bake or roti, go hiking, snorkeling, to waterfalls, hot springs, try new beaches. Whatever you do, and get out of your house! I was on the island for a year, and there are still newly discovered places on my list that I want to go back and experience. My top 5 places: Titou Gorge, Batibou Beach, snorkeling at Scott’s Head, Freshwater Lake Hike, and Pagua. I could name a ton more, but each of these places has spectacular views and fun activites which are what I appreciate most.
If you are in the states, same advice applies! Explore your new city, try local restaurants and business and see what they have to offer.
Embrace the Experience
Your water and electricity will go out, and you are bound to get shack attack once during your stay. While they aren’t death and taxes, they are certainly assured during island living. While adjusting may be hard, try to focus on the positives and be thankful for such a life changing experience. The sooner you stop wishing to change things on the island, the happier you’ll be. You’ll develop ‘island hacks’ that make your days easier and give you more time to enjoy the gorgeous surroundings.
As far as stateside, you’re likely to find yourself in a new place without family near by. This can be tough, but you can find ways to stay connected. Skype, visit, send care packages (which is much easier in the US) and talk as much as you need. Personally, one thing I look forward to is when my mom visits. I’m excited to show her the unique attractions that our new city has to offer.
Get Involved
Whether it’s a club on campus (*cough* Ross Spouses Organization *cough*), pursuing an online degree, or starting up your own mini business, find something of your own that you enjoy doing. Find something that speaks to your interest! Start that hobby that you’ve never had time to do before, interact with the local people of Dominica, and make friends that will last a life time. From my experience, I have made some of my closest friends while on island. These relationships have carried over stateside. Medical school is such a unique set of circumstances, especially with Ross, that you’ll form unique bonds with the other men and women who can relate.
Medical School is not for the weak of heart. Sham and I have been through ups and downs like any relationship, but what I can say, is that I believe medical school has made us stronger. We are centered in our drive to better our family and ourselves. We appreciate the time we have together and our children. Perspective is everything. The island really helped me determine what was important in life and I’m thankful for that. I’ve embraced moving to new places and trying new things. I love our life and the adventures that medical school has brought.
So for all you medical student supporters, know that you’re not alone in this crazy ride. If you’re here, that means you’re most likely a strong person that can handle whatever life throws at you. If you want to know more about particular events, and/or about the Atlanta track life, feel free to message me!
Until next time,
Danielle